Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rebirth Of A Mind.

Okay, I haven't been on here in MONTHS but I was reading my first blog and it seems as though everything has changed sense August. My name is still LeVauni of course, but it now has a totally different meaning to me. I believe I am the same person just with different ways and understanding now. The world doesn't revolve around me, because I am not the sun. I may not be the most important person in the world, but I do believe I am one of many. The only way I can achieve success is if I work for it and take it. Having people support and guide me is a blessing, but relying on them for everything is not acceptable. I now know I have to be my own motivator and go getter. Putting your all into relationships and friendships is a great quality, but there comes a time when you have to realize when it has gone to far. When the long conversations and confidential secrets have tarnished and no longer hold meaning. A phone call is made weeks apart, and a text is sent only when boredom occurs. That's not healthy nor is it the habits of a good relationship, and no matter how hard you try to make up for it or cover it up with an excuse the fact still remains that the bond has been broken. When a bond can be easily broken, it wasn't alive in the first place. When you lie to a person who deserves honesty or  would never speak a false word about you, there's a problem. To deliberately make a person feel as though there not good enough or could never be good enough is sicking. To trick or fool a person in falling in love with a false emotion or statement is cruel and a very hard wound to recover from. Taking ones weakness and turning into a weapon against them is not a sign of strength, its a habit which helps you camouflage your very own negatives. It took me four different schools, a dozen of friends, pints full of tears, books full of lies, one messy heartache,and a stab in the heart to realize the things that I thought was okay, was not and should never be. I am LeVauni, my own person that deserves respect just as god would receive. Not comparing myself to him or saying I'm better but why shouldn't everyone be respected in that way?

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